In addition, you get to make decisions surrounding your comfort, your dignity and other requests you have — no matter how specific they are.

 In addition, you get to make decisions surrounding your comfort, your dignity and other requests you have — no matter how specific they are.

Paul Malley told me during our interview that often the questions that seem the least important wind up impacting families most. Examples include questions regarding pain management and what it takes for someone to feel comfortable, clean and warm.

For example, would you rather die at home if given the choice? Do you want music playing? Do you want people with you?

“Those little things may sound small, but I can tell you from the messages we receive that this is where the true gift is,” says Malley.

Five Wishes in Practice

Malley says he has heard many stories over the years that have proven just how important having a living will is, but one that comes to mind involves a gentleman who had a stroke and became incapacitated overnight. After speaking to the wife of this man (let’s call her Mrs. Smith) once final arrangements were made, Malley learned all the different ways Five Wishes made Mr. Smith’s passing more bearable.

After her husband’s first day in intensive care, for example, Mrs. Smith noticed in her husband’s Five Wishes profile that he wanted pictures of his grandchildren in the room. Reading that detail, she suddenly felt good about leaving him long enough to go home and get cleaned up, knowing she could bring back all the family photos he wanted to be surrounded with.